Stop Adding. Start Subtracting. The Real Secret to Better Health with Sandy Martin

Why Grace Will Get You Further Than Consistency (And What That Has to Do With Your Biology)

We have been sold the idea that consistency is the answer. Show up every day. Build the habit. Stay on track.

But what if the thing keeping you stuck isn't inconsistency? What if it's the way you talk to yourself when you fall off?

That's the question at the center of my conversation with Sandy Martin, biohacker, longevity event producer, and author of two books on getting well when the medical system has no answers for you.

When the Brain You Relied On Stops Working

Sandy was not someone who struggled to get things done. She built a platform from scratch to move a live events business virtual during COVID. She managed $400,000 in refunds. She got it done.

Two weeks after finishing that project, she couldn't decipher the cells on a spreadsheet she had built herself.

What followed was a diagnostic nightmare. A misread SPECT scan led to a traumatic brain injury label that wasn't accurate. A doctor recommended a drug so strong it's typically reserved for severe stroke cases. A lab technician called her to say she might be dying from arsenic poisoning that turned out to be a crab cake and activated charcoal reacting on a urine test.

None of it was what it looked like on the surface.

The actual cause was mold exposure. And once she found that root cause and cleared it, everything else she tried started working.

The Problem With the Gains-First Approach

Sandy now runs longevity events where biohacking companies exhibit their products. Supplements, devices, protocols. And she'll be the first to tell you that none of it works the way you think it does if you haven't dealt with the underlying issue first.

Her cousin called her asking about Lion's Mane for brain fog. Her answer: stop eating at McDonald's first. He did. He lost 16 pounds in two weeks.

We cannot supplement our way out of a bad foundation. That's the first E in her EDGE framework: Eliminate. Start with what you stop.

This lands differently for ADHD brains. We love the new thing. The new app, the new supplement, the new system. The dopamine hit of starting is real. But if the root problem hasn't been addressed, nothing sticks. Not because we're doing it wrong. Because we're solving the wrong problem.

The Three-Minute Reset That Actually Works

Sandy's quick win from the episode is a breathing and humming practice. Here's why it's worth taking seriously.

Breathing in for five seconds and out for five seconds is the interval that optimizes oxygen uptake in the body. That pattern creates what's called a smooth HRV, or heart rate variability, which is a measure of how well your nervous system is regulating itself.

When you add humming to the exhale, you stimulate nitric oxide production in the nasal passages. Nitric oxide relaxes blood vessels. It improves blood flow. It helps your systems sync up instead of running on different frequencies.

Three minutes of this shifts your body measurably. You can track it with a mindfulness app on an Apple Watch. But even one minute helps.

Sandy uses it at conferences before every conversation. She does it at night before bed. She does it in the morning. Not because she's disciplined. Because she knows how to get what she needs when she needs it.

The Biology of Beating Yourself Up

This is the part of the conversation I want every ADHD mom to hear.

Sandy talked about what happens in the body when we use language like "I don't have it together" or "I should be doing better." Most of us think of that as just a thought. A feeling, maybe.

It's not just a feeling. It's a signal. And your body responds to it like a threat.

That signal triggers an adrenal response. Cortisol goes up. When cortisol goes up, your liver creates more glucose. Your system goes into stress mode. Sandy even described getting a yeast infection she couldn't explain until she realized stress, not sugar, had created the glucose spike that caused it.

The story we tell ourselves about our performance has a direct biological effect on our body. That's not motivational language. That's physiology.

Grace Is Not the Soft Option

Sandy said something near the end of our conversation that I keep coming back to.

Grace will get you further than consistency.

She's not perfect at her own framework. She starts and peters out. She forgets. She has to remind herself. And then she picks it back up. Without the spiral. Without the punishment.

For ADHD brains, this isn't just good advice. It's a better strategy. The shame spiral doesn't motivate. It creates a stress response that makes the next attempt harder, not easier.

Grace is not giving yourself a pass. It's removing the obstacle that keeps you from trying again.

The Quick Win

Try the three-minute practice today. Breathe in for five seconds. Hum out for five seconds. Repeat for three minutes. If you have a watch with a mindfulness app, use it to pace and track. If you don't, set a timer.

Do it before school pickup. Do it before a hard conversation. Do it tonight before you go to sleep.

One minute counts. Three is better. And when you forget for three days and remember on day four, that's when you find out whether grace is something you just say or something you actually practice.

Keeping life simple & beautiful,

~Jess

Listen to the full episode with Sandy Martin on Quick Wins for ADHD Moms.

Find Sandy at BioEdgeLongevity.com.

bioEDGE Longevity Summit https://bioedgelongevity.com/