Picture a room full of teenagers. Nobody is looking down. Someone is losing at a card game. Two kids are building something out of cardboard. A group in the corner is just talking. Loudly.
When was the last time you saw that?
Lenore Skenazy, founder of the Free-Range Kids movement, wrote a piece in the LA Times that I came across this morning while sipping coffee. I love this simple idea: If we want kids out of the virtual world, we have to give them back the real one.
And the numbers are hard to read. Most 8 to 12 year olds have never walked or biked anywhere without an adult. Most parents of 14-year-olds won’t let them leave the block. Kids who do get out often have nowhere to go. No ride. No money for the coffee shop. Not welcome at the mall.
When teens were asked how they most want to spend time with friends, 70 percent said unstructured, in-person hangouts. Only 12 percent picked online.
What if our kids aren’t choosing phones over friends? Maybe they’re choosing phones because there’s nowhere else to go.
That’s a design problem. And design problems have design solutions.
Skenazy has great ideas. Open the libraries as hangout spaces. Put recreation supervisors back in the parks. Turn an empty storefront or a town hall basement into a room with board games and snacks. Keep schools open a couple of hours after the bell. As she puts it, kids need “a room and some granola bars.”
Yes - I love this. But do I want to be the one who oversees this? Nah, bro. I’m an idea person, and I'm already stretched to capacity. Just bein’ honest here.
But this is where my adhd brain went next.
What if that room had a phone wall? Not a basket by the door. Not a sad plastic bin. A piece of art. Something cool enough that kids want to put their phone in it. Each slot locks. Each kid has a key (a physical key? They might lose it. A digital keypad? I don’t know.) But your phone is safe. Nobody can take it. And for a few hours, you don’t need it. You don’t even remember you have a phone.
Think about what that does for an ADHD brain, or any brain. The phone isn’t buzzing in your pocket. It’s not on the table pulling your eyes. It’s on the wall, out of reach, and you chose to put it there. Less friction. More room to be with people.
School phone lockers exist. Lockable phone pouches exist. But I haven’t found anyone who has made it beautiful and put it in a public space built for kids to hang out. Maybe that’s the next thing someone builds.
A library. A park pavilion. A church youth room. A coffee shop that opens its back room on Friday nights.
Kids want to be together. We just have to design the space for it. What if THEY had an art project and designed the space for themselves?
Morning thoughts with Jess. Coffee is working.
We have a local space called Common Grounds that bridges this gap - what about your area? What seems to be working with your kids - where you live?
