You know something is off. Maybe it's your kid. Maybe it's you. Maybe it started with your kid, and somewhere along the way you realized it was you too.
This October, I met with Dr. Aaron Dodini four times. He is a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of Axon ADHD. We first met at a congressional briefing in D.C., and I knew right away he needed to be on the show.
Here are the four conversations, each with its Quick Win.
Week 1: What Is ADHD and How To Get Diagnosed
Quick Win: "Yes, we can." Dr. Dodini saw a sign at the gym: yes, you can restack the weights. "Sometimes as ADHDers we forget. Yes, we can," he said. "We can get answers. We can get clarity, we can get help."
Then he told the story of his own daughter, a valedictorian, coming home from college to say her roommates thought she had ADHD. "I literally patted her on the head and said, 'Sweetie, you don't have ADHD. You're fine.'" He tested her anyway. Then he called the test company to tell them it was broken. It wasn't.
He calls ADHD a brain type, not a disorder. "We don't call redheads follicularly disordered, right?"
"It isn't that hard to get an accurate, really great diagnosis. It is hard to recognize that we need one."
Week 2: ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression
Quick Win: move first. Do a few burpees or jumping jacks right before the task you keep avoiding. "Just getting the heart rate going," he said, "it turns out it helps."
My son carried a general anxiety diagnosis for years, and it never quite fit. Dr. Dodini explained how the test distinguishes them.
Anxious movement is small and steady. "The function of the movement is to self-soothe," he said. "With ADHD, it's the exact opposite. The function of the movement is to self-stimulate."
All three of my kids and I have ADHD, and in each one of us, it looks completely different.
And you don't have to do it alone. "ADHD is, I think, by its very nature, it can be very isolating."
Week 3: What Keeps Us from Getting a Diagnosis
Quick Win: step away before the crisis. "Let's not wait till you're deprived of oxygen," he said. Book the pedicure. Take a walk with a friend "where you're not talking about your kids at all."
I asked why so many of us wait. The label. The guilt. Medication worries. The phrase so many of us have heard:"I turned out all right."
He said most of those reasons are "really self-protective in nature." Underneath the label worry is often something harder. "I don't want to feel like I'm a bad parent."
What gets us moving is usually our kids. "When we start seeing our kids begin to have a little bit lower self-esteem... that's when we take action."
I asked if ADHD can be cured. "I don't believe there's anything that needs to be cured. I think this is a brain type."
He made his case for medication as a tool that makes coaching, routines, and therapy easier to build. If that isn't your path, there are options.
Week 4: Is ADHD a Superpower or a Disability?
Quick Win: disposable toothbrushes. This one was mine. The little ones with toothpaste already on them, in backpacks, my purse, and the car. One basic thing, handled every day.
One of the social media clips I released created a lot of debate: Is ADHD a superpower or disability?
"I believe the answer is yes," Dr. Dodini said. "It is both, depending on our circumstances, depending on our personalities, depending on our environment."
Then he named what so many of us live with. "It is perpetual. We will not grow a new brain. But it's also episodic. Am I smart or am I lazy? Because one day I'm brilliant, and the next day it feels like I'm super lazy."
He described the high-achieving woman who doesn't get diagnosed until her forties, "because she's gonna hit a wall. And then it's gonna be like, what in the world's going on? I thought I had superpowers."
I said sometimes a diagnosis is that moment of clarity where you can begin to forgive yourself.
The Thread: Yes, We Can
"Humans are wired for growth," Dr. Dodini said. "We are here to grow." Then he added, "So maybe that's our superpower as humans. We have the capacity to grow."
Pick one Quick Win and start this week.
If you want to see what a streamlined evaluation looks like, Dr. Dodini's team is at axonadhd.com.
Listen to the Full Series
Week 4: Is ADHD a Superpower or a Disability? with Dr. Aaron Dodini - coming soon!
